It’s Britney, Bitch.
Here are a couple things I learned this weekend.
1. DJ Pauly D knows about 5 phrases in English, which are (in order of frequency used): “Pittsburgh!” / “Fist pump when the beat drops!” / “Pittsburgh!” / Random noises / “Pittsburgh!” It goes without saying that his show was disappointing, to say the least.
2. Britney Spears has absolutely zero idea how to sing, or lip sync. This would be more understandable if she actually was performing challenging dance moves - but this was not quite the case. Actually, I’m pretty sure even not-so-talented Vivi on Dance Moms could have out danced Ms. Spears.
3. Britney Spears has also gotten fat, but apparently is missing a gay best friend to tell her so. I think her gay best friend must actually be on permanent leave, because she also squeezed herself into an array of highly age-inappropriate ensembles and looked like a complete mess most of the evening.
4. When the weather is nice, you must sit outside. We don’t get nearly enough days of nice weather in Pittsburgh, so next time the sun is out or the temperature is up, grab a beer, some friends, and have a party.
5. It is important to have plenty of coffee on hand. Not only will it help you get through the weekend, it just makes everything that much more enjoyable.
6. I’m better at beer pong than I ever realized. Which is great, because you never know when those frat boy skills will come in handy. Oh, and it is just fun to win things … and drink while doing it.
7. I have found myself to be pretty knowledgeable about restaurants in Pittsburgh, but despite the fact that I am constantly trying to eat my way through this city, there is still a lot more I have to take advantage of. I’m looking at this as a good thing, namely because I’m sure I have at least a few more years here.
8. Even coasters can make great gifts. Actually, I usually enjoy most everything related to drinking. Including, but not limited to, cocktail napkins, shot glasses, wine glasses, drink stirrers, and, of course, coasters.
8. Bloody Marys, when made well, can be truly delightful. I recommend having at least two during every Sunday brunch.
All in all, I had a fantastic weekend - and am so thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
